Simple Yet Complicated

it’s more or less 9 hours to go
before the start of a new year. and what are your new year’s resolutions? me?
i’m still thinking if i’m gonna have one, two, three… or zero. hehehe. i
mean, new year resolutions are good. they enable you to assess yourself and
change for the better. but why do we have to make resolutions on new years? why
can’t we just make resolutions when necessary? we don’t have to wait for a new
year to come, right?

resolutions in our life are part of growing up. we don’t just make them when a
new year comes, we need to make them when we find that something is not right
in us — like an attitude or characteristic that can ruin our lives or other
people’s lives.

new year resolutions are not really necessary. you don’t have to make one on a
new year’s eve. but what we need is to constantly evaluate ourselves. then we
make resolutions (not necessarily on a new year) to become a better person.

God bless us all!

paranoia leads you to create a problem that
shouldn’t have existed in the first place. it leads you to hurt yourself for no
valid reason at all.

this is what triggered me to write my previous
blog entitled “a disturbing feeling.” i was so engrossed of thinking
all the negative things that could possibly happen. it even led me to hurt
myself — not physically but emotionally.

we just have to learn that not all people cannot
be trusted. some of them can be. some of them are worth our trust and even
worth our heart. we must always remember that the man up above would never
leave us to fall. we just have to trust Him.

it’s good to think positive. i’m not saying that
we become insensitive to bad signs. i’m just emphasizing the fact that too much
paranoia is awful. no one could be blamed for the suffering caused by being
paranoid but ourselves.

stay calm. think good. trust God.

God bless!

i just have so many questions in my mind right
now. i don’t even know where to start. i wonder if what i’m feeling right now
is even right. is it even justifiable? i mean, do i have the right to question
things? events? whatsoever?… gosh, i’m even using the word “right”
repeatedly. what is wrong with me? or is it really me? is something wrong with
me? maybe it’s not me. maybe the problem lies on the people i put so much
trust.

there’s nothing wrong with trusting somebody so
much, right? i mean, one should give a person a chance to prove his
trustworthiness. but what if you feel like he’s not worth it? should you still
continue to give him a chance?

anyway, this blog is not everything about trust.
i just wanna let it out! i just wanna let what’s eating me up this past few
hours out! i’ve been trying to contact a friend. but it seems to me, he/she is
out of reach. i wonder if he/she’s ok. i don’t know. i even wonder if i should
be worried about his/her welfare. is it his/her welfare i should be worried
about? or is it something else?

goodness! i just don’t like the state i’m in to
right at this very hour. i feel clueless!?! this feeling disturbs me. it sucks.

i woke up at about 5:00 a.m. today, talked with
my boyfriend on the phone… and after that? i fell asleep an hour later. i
just didn’t feel like going out of my room. yeah, i did wake up, got up of bed,
walked around my room… but i just can’t get myself to open the door and get
the heck out of my room. i didn’t listen to any music or anything… i just
stared at my ceiling, wondering what i’m gonna do for the rest of the day until
i fell asleep again. but then, i finally got the strength to go out of my room
and freshen up at about 11 a.m. and yeah, i did the usual stuffs…

boring huh? anyway, my boyfriend called again,
saying he was going to loon (that’s in bohol, by the way) because his mother
asked him to pick up something there. i was kind of down when he said that ‘coz
i’m gonna miss talking to him. wa man gud signal sa sun didto oi. hehe. pero he
got back before lunch. but in the afternoon, he told me he had to go back to
loon because he has a basketball game to play in the evening. me? down again. i
have no one to talk and chikka to all day! siya man gud ako partner ug
storyahanay. but aside from that, i’m gonna miss him jud! not hearing his voice
for almost a day would be like ______…. blank! dull, boring, lonely,
nakakamiss, mmmhhh? blank!

but of course, i’m so damn proud of him! i just
hope and pray they won the game. pero win or lose? proud japon ko niya.

anyway, i spent my day in silence. i didn’t
speak much, which was practically unusual for me. hehe. i mean, i’m the kind of
person who loves to talk and talk for hours… pero this day? i was just here
at home, spending my day in silence.

everything around me was calm. all i can hear
was the rain outside. i walked around the house, watched outside from my
window… etc. bastah. it was a very quiet day for me. ang nakadaghan lang ug
storya nako kay dire sa computer. hehehe. anyway, that’s all.

i hope i would not have a boring day tomorrow.
well? good luck to all of you! god bless us all!

thank God for letting me celebrate another Christmas with my family! i know it couldn’t always be this way, pero i’d try my best to celebrate it with them for the coming years..

sadja man ang pasko pag sila ang kuyog. nothing sweeter than HOME. here is my mama & papa. sweet kaayo sila sah?Hehehe. i love looking at this pic. give love on Christmas Day! hehehe. but the truth is, give love everyday! dibah? it’s Christmas everyday man..

here is my brother. bisan tawon ug isog nig tsura dire, sa tinuod? buotan ni. sweet pod dagway, hehe. i’m happy he came home this Christmas, in spite of the work he has in Cebu.

then, this is me in green! with me (from L-R) are nang ta, cj von “bolitog”, and eunice mel “bb-Jay”. lots of pics were taken during the celebration. it’s just nice to capture the special moments you have with your family…

here are some of the other pics.

it’s me and my cousin bb-jay again…

then we have here a cute little baby! his name is Clark Kurby. grabeh sah? he’s my cute cousin. cry baby lang pag lain ang mocarry nya, hehe.

then here’s my mama in green! just like the color of my blouse. naa dinha si uncle fidel, si papa, si nang ta, ug si lolo gracias!

then my Lolo (i call him daddy) and lola (i call him mommy) with their British friend, gary.

naa pay pahabol! sweet sah? here’s nong rommel and nang bing! :)

that’s all! Merry Christmas! may all of you have a wonderful New Year ahead! God bless!

this is the first time that i celebrated
christmas without my cousins frombacolod

and cebu. they come here every christmas to celebrate with us. yeah, i miss
them. nothing beats their company, az in. although my family and i hosted a
little party, i still longed for them. naanad guro ko nga naa sila ingon arong
mga panahona.

my cousins are like my “barkada”. i
just don’t see them as my cousins, but i also share a strong friendship with
them. when they’re here, we chikka from dusk ’til dawn. we watch movies, sing,
dance, play games… we also talk about serious stuffs… religion,
christianity, family, etc. i love being around them. i love them!

to my cousins: jazzel, jfranz, janlee, jezza,
jbebz, and to all the gagmatings… i miss you all! pramiz… christmas is
always good. but it could have been so much better if all of you were with me
celebrating it. sounds selfish? nope… just missing you guyz this christmas!

god bless us all!